Friends for Eternity

In an earlier post I talked about the fact that I have been surprised to see which of my "friends" have actually continued to have a part in my life since my "retirement", and which of them have not. I remain puzzled by my respective mental "lists."

One thing I can say is that I have made some wonderful NEW friends on this journey. Two special friends I've made are (to my knowledge, anyway) the only PALS (persons with ALS) besides myself in the US that are also former EMS professionals. Danny and Ken share a special bond with me. They have lived the "brotherhood" that is EMS and the fire service. We share a unique sense of humor (some things that some of you might not find so funny we totally crack up about) and a sense of loss at the passing of our time "in service". Then there is Kent, a PALS who lives here in the Indy area. Kent and I don't share a vocational past in common, but we have become fast-friends, none-the-less.

Part of the common denominator is probably that we are all fairly close in age and have younger kids (elementary/middle-school age) at home. Obviously all of us are LIVING with ALS. And all of us share a faith that there is more to this life than what we can see with our earthly eyes....that God is real and that He cares about us! I can't imagine facing this illness without some Hope that THIS LIFE is NOT all there is!!! I hope that my friends (current and past) can feel my prayers that go up for them. I pray that they can live with the hope and joy that I am finding in abundance through this journey. Funny, huh? You get a terminal illness that eventually will lock you in a non-functioning body with an intact mind and you find JOY and ABUNDANCE?! Wow. Isn't God amazing!?

I simply can't imagine living without the love of God in this world, let alone with this illness. It is all to ugly and too hopeless. But with God comes HOPE and LOVE for all eternity and for all situations. Isn't that cool!?

I have a friend who I love deeply who has struggled with God. He was in a difficult marriage and sought counsel and refuge in the 'church' only to be sorely betrayed by the person who was his 'mentor'....this mentor was not just a fallen human (as we all are) but he was a criminal and was caught molesting a child. With that as the breaking point, my friend decided that God doesn't exist or that at the very least "God isn't for [him]". How sad that makes me. I pray for this friend and his children every day. I now see the battle between God and Satan acted out in this man's soul in a very real way. He is a wonderful, kind, caring man. He gives of himself for others in tangible ways. But he has rejected God because he looked for the good in a person to represent God. It causes me to take pause.

"Of one hundred men, one will read the Bible; ninety-nine will read the Christian." Dwight L. Moody.

We don't have to be perfect or sinless, because we will be neither, but we have to LOVE...that's where it all begins and ends because GOD is LOVE. I hope that I have shown LOVE to some of you. I know that many of you are showing LOVE to me. This LOVE is the kind that has TRUE meaning...the kind that isn't seeking anything for self but only seeking to give to the other.. and the irony is that when you give this LOVE you get it back in more abundance than you could ever "demand"! I'm living this right now and I want the world to know that GOD is real, that he DOES love each of us, that this has NOTHING to do with "church" or "religion" but it does have to do with how we will spend eternity. I KNOW that this life, this "world" is not all there is. I've experienced a glimpse of what "heaven" will be like...you and me will be LOVED... totally and completely and UNCONDITIONALLY.

I have another dear friend who lost her 21-year-old daughter on this past Sunday (Easter Sunday!) to complications of a serious chronic illness. Can you imagine the pain of loosing your child? Your precious daughter? I know that I can't. But I do know that in her 21 years she touched more people with God's love than her parents will ever know. She has her "angel wings" now and I can't wait to be with her and the others that I love -- singing with our perfected voices for all eternity. There is HOPE. Hope has a name: Jesus. Love you, Claudia

Out of the Mouths of Babes

It was a wonderful day today... sunny, mid 70's, breezy...my friend, Julia, came for a wonderful long visit...it was perfect. We even saw the most amazing, vibrant DOUBLE rainbow (you could see BOTH ends) after a brief shower moved through. So, this is what life can be like when you slow down enough! :) Nice....very nice.

A couple of cute things have come out of Christopher's mouth in the past 24 hours and I just have to share. This morning Amy woke up with a headache. Christopher wanted to pray for her and this is how it went: "Dear God, Come into Amy's heart. Bless her. Help her headache to feel better. A dream is a wish your heart makes. May all her dreams come true. Forever and ever. Amen." OK, so he's got God and Walt Disney a little mixed up!

Today was Palm Sunday, and Christopher wanted to know what that was about. After sharing the traditional Palm Sunday story of Jesus "riding into Jerusalem on a donkey, like a parade, with people waving palm branches" , Christopher asked: "Why didn't he just ride on a float?"

*SMILE* Love, Claudia

Reality Check

"Love People. Use Things."

Back to Base

Yesterday, for the first time since I quit working last October, I went to visit the (new) PHI Dove Flight 3 base (St. John's Hospital, Anderson, IN). It was good to go back. Some things have changed (they've moved the base from the Anderson Airport to the hospital) and some are still the same (Golden Hour, personalities on base). It was good to go back.

For months after I quit working I couldn't even consider going to visit. It just hurt too much. To say that being an air-medical flight crewmember is an intense and competitive career is an understatement. I would be lying if I told you that "flight paramedic/RN" wasn't part of WHO I WAS. What I realized yesterday is that it was only PART. I am still "me". I always had a life outside of work.

Some of my former co-workers are always mentally at "work" and they ARE (in sum total) "flight nurses/paramedics/pilots". I realized yesterday that while I love what I did (and still do), I was able to go on after a period of mourning my loss. I'm not sure some of my co-workers would be able to do that and it saddens me immensely. Ask yourself "Who ARE you?"...not "what do you do" or "what role do you play in society" but WHO ARE YOU? Are you a person who has a great sense of humor, integrity, steadfastness, industriousness, etc.??? That's what I mean and if you can't answer that question quickly with at least a few personality traits, maybe it is time for YOU to take a quick "inventory".

Emergency Medical Services (EMS) has never been known to foster a great balance between personal and professional life. It is more common than not to have EMS personnel so immersed in their work that they forget (or never even know) that there is life beyond the "lights and sirens". It is no wonder that the divorce rate (not to mention the rate of infidelity among those who remain married) in emergency services (and I include the ER staff in this group) is astronomical.

I am happy to say that, while I may not always have had a good "balance" between work and "life" outside work, I was reassured by yesterday's visit that I am still "me" and that I truly do value other people more than any "thing" or "career".

I miss flying more than I can put into words, but life is still FULL. I am blessed! Love, Claudia

I'll Do It Tomorrow

I just read an interesting story and I hope you'll take a minute to read it and think about it. Click Here to be linked to the story. I'm finding out what our hurried lifestyle looks like....from the OTHER SIDE. Do you know that I have a wonderful, well-meaning friend who has CHRISTMAS GIFTS for us that they haven't found time to get to us yet?? Please don't misunderstand.... I'm not writing this to condemn or criticize or complain. It's just the fact. How many times have I been the person who carried something around until it was so "belated" that it was meaningless???? I never MEANT to procrastinate. It just happened. I had two (and sometimes three) jobs. I had special needs kids at home. I needed my "down time". The dryer broke down...YOU GET THE IDEA. I'm realizing, painfully as I watch the emails announcing "another angel has their wings" on the ALS list serve, that time zips by and before you know it "tomorrow" (and the next day and the next) are gone, sometimes with the people you care about gone too. Yes, this IS about ME but it is also about YOU and ALL those people you love who you are just "too busy" to see, to say "I love you" to, to give a "hug" to. You see, that somebody who needs the hug or the "I love you" will be YOU before you know it..... life is a terminal disease. Check your priorities carefully. Love, Claudia