Reality Check

"Love People. Use Things."

Back to Base

Yesterday, for the first time since I quit working last October, I went to visit the (new) PHI Dove Flight 3 base (St. John's Hospital, Anderson, IN). It was good to go back. Some things have changed (they've moved the base from the Anderson Airport to the hospital) and some are still the same (Golden Hour, personalities on base). It was good to go back.

For months after I quit working I couldn't even consider going to visit. It just hurt too much. To say that being an air-medical flight crewmember is an intense and competitive career is an understatement. I would be lying if I told you that "flight paramedic/RN" wasn't part of WHO I WAS. What I realized yesterday is that it was only PART. I am still "me". I always had a life outside of work.

Some of my former co-workers are always mentally at "work" and they ARE (in sum total) "flight nurses/paramedics/pilots". I realized yesterday that while I love what I did (and still do), I was able to go on after a period of mourning my loss. I'm not sure some of my co-workers would be able to do that and it saddens me immensely. Ask yourself "Who ARE you?"...not "what do you do" or "what role do you play in society" but WHO ARE YOU? Are you a person who has a great sense of humor, integrity, steadfastness, industriousness, etc.??? That's what I mean and if you can't answer that question quickly with at least a few personality traits, maybe it is time for YOU to take a quick "inventory".

Emergency Medical Services (EMS) has never been known to foster a great balance between personal and professional life. It is more common than not to have EMS personnel so immersed in their work that they forget (or never even know) that there is life beyond the "lights and sirens". It is no wonder that the divorce rate (not to mention the rate of infidelity among those who remain married) in emergency services (and I include the ER staff in this group) is astronomical.

I am happy to say that, while I may not always have had a good "balance" between work and "life" outside work, I was reassured by yesterday's visit that I am still "me" and that I truly do value other people more than any "thing" or "career".

I miss flying more than I can put into words, but life is still FULL. I am blessed! Love, Claudia

I'll Do It Tomorrow

I just read an interesting story and I hope you'll take a minute to read it and think about it. Click Here to be linked to the story. I'm finding out what our hurried lifestyle looks like....from the OTHER SIDE. Do you know that I have a wonderful, well-meaning friend who has CHRISTMAS GIFTS for us that they haven't found time to get to us yet?? Please don't misunderstand.... I'm not writing this to condemn or criticize or complain. It's just the fact. How many times have I been the person who carried something around until it was so "belated" that it was meaningless???? I never MEANT to procrastinate. It just happened. I had two (and sometimes three) jobs. I had special needs kids at home. I needed my "down time". The dryer broke down...YOU GET THE IDEA. I'm realizing, painfully as I watch the emails announcing "another angel has their wings" on the ALS list serve, that time zips by and before you know it "tomorrow" (and the next day and the next) are gone, sometimes with the people you care about gone too. Yes, this IS about ME but it is also about YOU and ALL those people you love who you are just "too busy" to see, to say "I love you" to, to give a "hug" to. You see, that somebody who needs the hug or the "I love you" will be YOU before you know it..... life is a terminal disease. Check your priorities carefully. Love, Claudia

Come to the PARTY!

If you would like to be a part of Claudia's Champions, an awesome group of folks and maybe some of the COOLEST people on the planet (and NO, I don't mean ME!).... email Sharyll Martin at claudiasfamily@yahoo.com for more information. We're having a get together at my house on April 9th in the evening. I would love to see you there!!! Love, Claudia

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream, er um, Breathe I mean

Well, Melissa (respiratory therapist - RT) came to the house today and brought me my new "gadget"....I'm in for a lot of those (wow, I'd have settled for a home theater system! It would have been cheaper!). This time my new "toy" (ha!) is a Respironics BiPAP S/T. Evidently I was having a LOT of apneas and hypopneas so now I get "timed" respirations with my BiPAP. If my body decides it is tired of breathing (which evidently it had on numerous occasions), the machine will "breath for me" (or as Melissa put it, "you'll get at least 14 breaths per minute, whether you like it or not!") The technical explanation is: "In Spontaneous/Timed (S/T) the BPM (breaths per minute) control is active and synchronized breaths are given. If the patient doesn't initiate a breath within the set BPM interval, a time triggered inspiration is given and the BPM indicator illuminates."

My hope is that I'll feel more energetic during the day if I am actually getting enough oxygen (and, more importantly, less carbon dioxide buildup) during the night.

While Melissa was here, she checked my PIP (Peak Inspiratory Pressure) again, this time lying down (as opposed to at clinic Tuesday when I was sitting up). At clinic my PIP was 50 sitting up. Today, lying down it was 25....big difference and Melissa said that explained a lot.

SO, now I have "better living through pharmacology and TECHNOLOGY"! Love, Claudia