"Never confuse your career with your life"..... those are 7 big words.
I did. And now I'm paying the price. I genuinely thought that the people I worked with were my friends. Several have kept in touch and a few have gone waaay above and beyond to help me and still "be there" for me... but I'm amazed at the deafening silence from the vast majority of the people I worked with...most especially, the people I flew with. I guess we were all too busy trying to stay on top of our game to be human....I confess that I was. I guess it sucked then, but I was too busy and too wrapped up in my "career" to notice. Well, it REALLY sucks now. It makes me sad. Sad for me. Sad for them. We are all less human because we are constantly bombarded by such high expectations and demands.
In the next few months (maybe weeks if we find the right house) I plan to move. I honestly wonder if I'll ever hear from any but that select handful of people (you know who you are) who have kept close.... for the rest I might as well have fallen off the planet. Wow...all that for a flight helmet, huh? I hope I am wrong. I miss my friends and the time we were together working. I miss my "career" but I am glad that I am more human now.
I actually went and sat on a bench at Morse Reservoir yesterday and just sat....felt the breeze on my skin... listened to the leaves rustling on the tree above my head and the gentle waves breaking on the rocks... felt the sun filtering through the leaves... smelled the lake water, the grass, the fresh air. WOW. IT was awesome. I AM human. I was there with my friend Kent and we just sat in silence for a short time and just "lived".
I hope my friends have time to live too.... Love, Claudia
3 comments:
As a fellow flight person, I can't agree with you more about what some people sacrifice to wear the suit. And to some people, that's all it is. Don't worry, many people I work with have forgotten where they've come from. It's sad...as you know, if you don't remember where you've come from and who you've stepped on to get where you are, you'll forget how easily you will knocked right back there. As you were talking about your friends who have forgotten you I thought to myself, "Self, if something happened to you and you needed help or just someone to talk to, would your work "friends" step up to the plate and help out?" Self didn't have an answer but stared blankly into space as if a light had just come on. We make investments in people just like we invest with our money. Put the time and effort into the people who are going to grow into someone you can count on. If you put time and effort into people who you can't count on when you need them, well, you've invested in a scam. OK, I'm done rambling! :) Claudia, I just wanted you to know that I think of you often and wonder how you're doing. I think about being in your shoes and it makes me cry, because I don't know how I would do it. You're a blessing and a warrior. You're a wonderful woman and I pray for you and your family often.
Take care and enjoy the gazebo!!!
You couldn't be more right, Claudia. I hope you know you remain in my daily thoughts and prayers and I am as close as the phone or keyboard.
Hugs form Mississippi~
Valerie
Hi Claudia,
I just wanted you to know that even though I live waaaayyy up here in Maine, you are often in my thoughts and prayers and I admire your strength. I don't think I would have it in such a situation. You are handling things with incredible strength and grace!
I've bookmarked your blog and even though I'm far away? I care! Lori
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