Just falling...........

I have been so tired and breathless and it frustrates the beejeebers out of me! I still think I should be able to do all the things I used to do... and I can sometimes (for a minute or two). Christopher has been a BEAR for the last couple of months. His meltdowns are increasing, he's biting himself and leaving bruises and he cries....which makes ME want to cry, but I can't because that adds fuel to the fire.

Today, I wanted to take some things to my neighbor across the street, Bob, who has advanced lung cancer. Amy and Christopher were going to go too and I was going to take my Jazzy. I made one HUGE strategic mistake. I turned the Jazzy around on the ramp (no problem there, the ramp is not steep and is very, very wide) and then (problem enters here) I decided to back down the remaining 12" of ramp, thinking I would turn around in the driveway. Well, there's one little problem with my ramp. It is not flush with the pavement at the end. In fact, it has about a 1.5-2" lip. This is something we have to get adjusted, but is, for the most part live-able...unless you go down the ramp backwards! I got to the edge and the whole chair just fell over backwards! The saving grace was that I had the headrest extended as high as it would go and my head it that instead of the PAVEMENT! Needless to say it was a HARD JAR to my body and my neck is killing me now. Otherwise, nothing was hurt but my pride.

I was able to raise the left armrest of the Jazzy and just roll out of the chair onto the ground and then get up onto my hands and knees....and it was then that I felt a bug fly into my hair and I reached up and grabbed it to sling it out and got stung... it was a wasp. Add insult to injury (or injury to insult!).

This all upset Christopher, of course. None of this was on the "agenda". SOMETIMES I HATE AUTISM! Then I feel so bad for him... how unpredictable and out -of-control his world must seem! Dang it!

I finally gave up and asked Amy to just run the things over to Bob while I sat on the couch nursing my wounded pride and sore neck.

Thanks for letting me "vent". Sometimes I just don't know what else to do....

Love, Claudia