November 9, 2006

Today is actually the first day that I have not HAD to go somewhere or do something since I flew my last flight shift on October 17th. My room is a wreck from basically just dumping stuff in it and running to the next task. Once I finish this update, straightening up is my next job! Sometimes my mind feels as cluttered as my desk. There are so many uncertainties ahead...sometimes it is positively overwhelming! I'm trying to take things one day at a time but sometimes that is not so easy!
This week I finished the application process for Social Security (SSI and SSDI) for myself (I still have to finish Christopher's application next week) and the application for Medicaid for us. I never cease to be amazed at how cumbersome the "system" is and how slowly the "machine" moves. I have heard that in some states there are provisions for "emergencies" that expedite application approval...and in some states benefits really do start quickly. Not so much in Indiana....here my "expeditied" claim MIGHT be approved WITHIN 90 DAYS....or it might take as long as 120 days. The real frustration for me is knowing that the system is back-logged, at least in part, because of all the people who are geting government services who DON'T NEED THEM...like the lady who left the Medicaid office when I was there and got into a late-model LEXUS!
I visited a website last night about a young lady who has ALS. She is only 28 years old. On that site is a link to an interview with her (her name is Kimberly) and I encourage you to click here to see the video (please be patient while it loads and then plays the obligatory commercial!). This young lady is inspiring! She has a smile on her face and refuses to give up....
This disease is hateful, ugly and unforgiving...but I am seeing a pattern among the persons diagnosed with ALS. They are TOUGH and optimistic...and they are intelligent....ALS is teaching me things every day, about my own inner strength, about what makes a person a human, what priorities in life SHOULD be! This is going to be an incredible journey. I know that there will be tears and anger and fear, but I also am beginning to see that there will times when I connect with others in a way that never would have been possible before.
The Share the Care group met for the first time on Tuesday night and I was humbled and awed by the love and compassion in that room. I am so blessed to have such wonderful, loving people who are willing to walk this road with me. Relationships have always meant more to me than things, and I am seeing now that, in spite of the challenges I face, I am RICH. I am learning how much God loves me and how much He wants to meet our needs when we depend on Him. One thing I hope is, that through this journey, people will see God's compassion and love demonstrated through me and those who choose to walk with me. There is more to this life than what meets the eye...more than the material world...more than our physical state...