Friday, June 29, 2007


Lots of stuff to report:
  1. I'm exhausted
  2. My mother and sister are here from California for a visit (my sister is here for a conference and it is her first visit EVER to Indiana)
  3. I'm exhausted
  4. We've found a house to buy on contract with my life insurance proceeds for the is in Muncie MUCH nearer to Sharyll. We will be moving in the next 30-60 days
  5. I'm exhausted
  6. My Permobil c500 Corpus power wheelchair will be delivered tomorrow at 8AM
  7. I'm exhausted
  8. Catherine and Phillip are here for the weekend
  9. I'm exhausted
  10. My sister will have several hours to visit with us again on Sunday before they leave Sunday evening (we had a few hours yesterday, too)
  11. I'm exhausted
  12. I'm not going to get to go to my best bud, Kent's, birthday party tomorrow due to the delivery of my powerchair and my mother's visit :((
  13. I'm exhausted
  14. Goodnight.

Love, Claudia

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Never Confuse Your Career with Your Life

"Never confuse your career with your life"..... those are 7 big words.

I did. And now I'm paying the price. I genuinely thought that the people I worked with were my friends. Several have kept in touch and a few have gone waaay above and beyond to help me and still "be there" for me... but I'm amazed at the deafening silence from the vast majority of the people I worked with...most especially, the people I flew with. I guess we were all too busy trying to stay on top of our game to be human....I confess that I was. I guess it sucked then, but I was too busy and too wrapped up in my "career" to notice. Well, it REALLY sucks now. It makes me sad. Sad for me. Sad for them. We are all less human because we are constantly bombarded by such high expectations and demands.

In the next few months (maybe weeks if we find the right house) I plan to move. I honestly wonder if I'll ever hear from any but that select handful of people (you know who you are) who have kept close.... for the rest I might as well have fallen off the planet. Wow...all that for a flight helmet, huh? I hope I am wrong. I miss my friends and the time we were together working. I miss my "career" but I am glad that I am more human now.

I actually went and sat on a bench at Morse Reservoir yesterday and just sat....felt the breeze on my skin... listened to the leaves rustling on the tree above my head and the gentle waves breaking on the rocks... felt the sun filtering through the leaves... smelled the lake water, the grass, the fresh air. WOW. IT was awesome. I AM human. I was there with my friend Kent and we just sat in silence for a short time and just "lived".

I hope my friends have time to live too.... Love, Claudia

Thursday, June 14, 2007

GazeboPalooza - At Last

After many phone calls (thank you SOO much, Amy!) and schelpping the defective gazebo back to WalMart, we arrived home with a new, intact "gazebo kit". It took Amy and I two days to assemble the thing (mostly because Christopher really wanted to HELP....), but I LOVE IT! I even bought a 6 ft mister hose and attached it under the awning of the gazebo for those really hot days when we want to be outside.

Here in Indiana we have had virtually NO rain in over a month. The yard is as brown as the desert and the dirt parched and cracked. Not good for my garden (although the rabbit and birds aren't helping much either), but great for sunnin' by the inflatable kiddie pool! I'm actually getting a little bit of a tan! :)

We had our GoenPalooza crew reunion/awards ceremony last night at Kroaker Heads in Anderson. Aaron and Sharon were there, of course, along with many of the "couldn't have done it without you" people involved in planning, organizing and implementing the Palooza. It was a great time and I am so honored to have been Paloozized! I plan to be healthy enough to attend the festivities again next year! SO THERE!

We are seriously looking for a house now. "Musts" are SINGLE story, minimum 3 br, 2 ba, minimum 1500 sq ft. Must be along the I-69 corridor somewhere between Lapel and Muncie, although first pick is Muncie since Sharyll lives there. Keep your eyes open and contact me if you see a house, especially a FSBO (for sale by owner) or lease-to-buy/contract.

I'm a tired girl tonight, but doing OK. Love, Claudia

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Frustration II

Well, for want of a better title, since I had used "Frustration" already, I just am entitling this "Frustration II". Unfortunately, I envision a series....

I never realized how much it takes two people to manage Christopher at times...and if we want to get anything done it takes more. There's the frustration.

Yesterday I went to WalMart and found on of those "gazebos" dirt cheap. A nice one. On clearance. Well, after our screen-tent fiasco (it blew away and collapsed less than 72 hours after we put it up), I had been wanting a "porch" to sit out and watch the birds and just enjoy the outdoors.... and here it was....on clearance!

I purchased the thing (riding around WalMart in my scooter purchasing the 10 items I can fit in my basket is frustrating alone) and pulled the van up to the Garden Center entrance to load it. With my Jazzy in the back of the van, there isn't a ton of space. I struggled to rearrange the Jazzy and the middle seats (the rear seats were already stowed) so that the 10 foot box would fit...while three able-bodied WM employees stood and watched, somewhat impatiently, I might add. Now, my balance is bad and my fine motor skills are challenging and they're just watching with their thumbs up get the pitcure. Anyhow, I finally make a space big enough for the box to fit and head home, totally exhausted but happy that I am still able to shop alone and excited to get a place to sit on the porch!

This morning, Amy and I hauled the box out onto our hand-truck and wheeled it to the back yard to assemble. Immediately upon opening the box it was clear that one of the posts was seriously bent. Not exactly something we could just 'live with'. A call to WalMart found that I have purchased the last one. So we can't even exchange it (and the thought of going through the process again tires me out just thinking about it). Tomorrow we're calling the manufacturer (Southern Living) to try to get a replacement post shipped....but now we have to wait again.

All the while we were outside, Chrisotpher was "helping" (i.e. pulling stuff out of the box, picking up the hammer and heading for the pieces with a demonic look on his face, etc.). My speech is bad enough now that I am not clearly understood and often can't complete an entire sentence without running out of breath. It kind of feels like someone has put cellophane over my mouth when I'm trying to talk. Now picture me trying to intervene with Christopher while Amy's fighting with the packing material and pieces. "Voice control" was not a high point on the menu with Christopher when I could talk CLEARLY and LOUDLY...and it is so much worse now. Kind of feels like herding cats most of the time.

SO, I'm frustrated. Mostly because I can't communicate and my hands don't cooperate and I struggle to do things I could do easily before. And Amy can't do it all!

We are earnestly seeking God's will regarding moving. Needing a one-story home that can be modified for handicap accessibility is becoming more and more of a necessity, but the real question is where to move? Obviously we need to be near "help"... but so far there is no one place where our help is centralized. So the group God is preparing to help us has not yet become physically visible to us. Please join us in praying for God's guidance as to where He has for us to be.

Thanks for your love, prayers and support. Love, Claudia