Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Another Snowy Night

For the first time since I can remember we’ve had snow on the ground for more than 2 weeks without some sort of thaw.  While I’m ready for the snow to go and summer to BE HERE, I am happy to see white instead of shades of grey when I look out my windows.

I haven’t been out of the house at all since December 5th.  Honestly, I can’t believe that I’m saying that with so little emotion.  It just is what it is.  Christopher and I have successfully dodged all of the various bugs floating around (including H1N1) and for that I am very grateful!  Add the difficulty of Amy trying to get us all into the van (is that “circus music” I hear playing?) in this frigid weather and it just seems like a no-brainer to STAY HOME.

Being home gives me a lot of time to think…maybe too much.  I go to Facebook, check my email and try to spend as much time with Christopher as I can.  Amazing how the day is filled with just that.  Sometimes though, while perusing Facebook, I read of a friend from one of my “former lives” who has reached an important milestone: a wedding, a new baby, a new job, going back to school, a vacation.. and I feel like I am left behind.  I envision myself  in a little inlet on the bend of a river, where the water is still and deep.  The river itself rushes by, being renewed and I tread water: watching.  It is an odd feeling for someone who always was trying to swim faster, harder and stronger to meet the next challenge head-on.

Not that I don’t have challenges anymore.  I have plenty…but I have lost the illusion that I have any control.  I say “illusion” because I never HAD control.  I just WANTED it! 

I am thankful for the peace of God that indwells that still, deep place that I am.  But sometimes, I just want to get into the rapids one more time.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Live For The Moment

Live For The Moment, a new show on CBS, aired for the first time tonight.  I DVR’d it (it came on at 8PM and that’s my time to spend with Christopher…tonight we watched a DVD on trains).  I spent time with Catherine watching old A-Team reruns (need a laugh at those 80’s fashions?!).  After Cat headed to bed, I turned on Live For The Moment. 

Tonight’s episode was about a man with ALS who got to do some of the things he had always dreamed of doing, and along the way he taught some of his friends and family how to “live like you are dying.”  As I watched the show I realized how incredibly blessed I am.  No, I never got to be a fighter pilot or professional singer (two things I would have loved), but I did become a paramedic and RN and I got to care for patients in the helicopter.  That was my dream and I GOT TO DO IT.  Some days I’m all soggy-shorts over not getting to do it longer, but I GOT TO DO IT!  I realize how many people never get to do what they love!

Now, I have the gift of ALS…which has given me so much perspective on the people in my life.  My children are first and foremost and I am truly able to treasure each moment with them.  As for my friends, the adage that people come into your life for a “reason, a season, or a lifetime” is SO TRUE.  I used to fret over people that I had lost touch with through no fault of my own, or people who had just parted ways with me.  Now I realize that they weren’t meant to be “lifetime” friends.  Very few people are meant as lifetime friends, and the rare person who has more than one or two of those is rich indeed.  I am rich!!

I am SO blessed! 

What can you do differently in your life to live every day as if it were your last?  What is truly important?  What will matter in your life 10 months from now or 10 years from now or IN ETERNITY?  Ask yourself that when you are all bent out of shape about something tomorrow, or when you are (intentionally or unintentionally) setting your priorities.  You just might find yourself looking back with fewer regrets someday.  THAT is a gift! 

Love, Claudia

Friday, January 15, 2010

I Don't Understand

There's something I just don't understand.  Why did God give me a passion  for emergency medicine, the ability to do it well and a desire to do medical missions only to allow me to lose the chance to go and help?  Watching the coverage from Haiti makes me feel so frustrated.  I could have helped.  I want to help.  Why is my mind fine and my body betraying me?  I should be helping!  I should be helping!  I WANT TO HELP!

I have many friends and former co-workers who are already planning their trip to Haiti.  I am envious.  I feel so useless.  I could help... I should be helping!

Then I realize that the world goes on and people will help and really no one will miss me or my contribution.  This isn't about me.  This is about the Haitian people.  Poor, suffering people BEFORE the earthquake and now, literally in a living hell.  I can pray.  I can give up something and send a little bit of money...that's it.

Please join me in doing whatever you can (however small it might be) for the people of Haiti.  Thank you!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Healthcare Reform: Real-life experiences to illustrate why I OPPOSE it

Tomorrow the US Senate votes on cloture for the Healthcare bill. I am strongly opposed to the healthcare reform bills currently circulation because I don’t want the government any more involved in my life than it already is. The same bureaucratic rocket-scientists who brought you the IRS, Amtrak and the USPS want to ‘help’ with your healthcare. It sounds wonderful. You need a medical test or procedure? NO PROBLEM! It’s covered. But WAIT.
I have learned over the years that just because the government “offers” a benefit, it doesn’t mean you GET the benefit. How can that be? Do you have any idea how challenging it is to find a decent doctor that accepts Medicaid? Most aren’t taking any new Medicaid patients. But say you find one. Your child is disabled and needs “waiver services”… services that regular Medicaid doesn’t cover. “There’s an app for that!” You apply for the waiver and, after a barrage of paperwork and medical documentation, you are told that your child qualifies for the waiver! Great news, right? Not so fast. Your child qualifies but there are no slots available on the waiver. The government only funds x-number of slots and the only way that you get one is for someone currently on the waiver to “drop off” (move out of state – the benefits don’t follow the person – or die). So your child is place on a waiting list. You’re told they’ll “contact you when a slot comes open”. You ask how long the waiting list is and you’re told that people currently being placed on the waiver applied 10 years ago. TEN YEARS. So, those services you need are COVERED, but hopefully your kid doesn’t REALLY need them now. She’ll get them a decade from now. How’s that for service? BUT WAIT! There’s more…. Just because you finally get a slot on a waiver it doesn’t mean that there are WAIVER PROVIDERS in your area. What good is a therapist or service when the nearest provider is 2-3 hours away. But – the service is covered. A comfort, no?

Then there is the outstanding efficiency and customer service those bureaucrats are legendary for! Here’s an example from real-time, here in Delaware County. Because of our situation we are eligible for “PRIORITY” status for energy assistance. We called in September and were given an appointment in early November (“priority”, huh?). All adults permanently residing in our home were required to be present for the appointment, which was conveniently scheduled during normal business hours. The lady doing the intake was polite while taking our information. She gave us a form that we had to bring back along with the social security cards for everyone in the household. Our appointment was on Monday. She said, “You can come back any Friday at 9AM or 1PM and just tell them you have your form and SS cards.” Today Amy went to drop off the forms, arriving at 0815 and was told that she was #35 and they only take 20 applicants at 9AM. She went back at noon and was told that the people who were being seen (basically, just dropping off forms) were given the 20 slots at 1100. There was one woman there who was on her 6th (SIXTH!) try, and another on her 4th. They only take paperwork on Fridays. And the employee who told Amy that was none-too-sympathetic or apologetic. Her job evidently does NOT depend on how she treats “the customer!” Just imagine if this was something URGENT (because heat in the winter isn’t urgent, right?).

Then there’s the COST of the proposed healthcare reform. It is said that they will cut $500 million from Medicare and “reduce waste” in Medicare and Medicaid to help pay for the program. Here’s an idea: how about we SAVE first and once it has been demonstrated that we CAN save by reducing waste, THEN we can start spending the money! Oh, wait…that would be un-American (it is the AMERICAN WAY to spend first, run up a big debt – like with credit cards – and then figure out how to PAY for the stuff, right?) The bill is even purported to be “deficit neutral” (they’re financing 5 years of coverage starting in 2014 with 10 years of taxes, ‘savings’ and other revenue). Unless they’ve found a PAUSE button for the calendar, so we can repeat the 10-years-of-payments-for-5-years-of-service cycle again, it won’t be “budget neutral” for long.

I have no choice but to take what I get from the government. YOU probably have more choices. If you think they’re viable, you might want to consider fighting to KEEP them. Let your voice be heard at www.congress.org.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

DRINK....your veggies

About a month ago, I was blessed to be able to get a Vita-Mix.  If you've never heard of one, they're a blender - on STEROIDS.  I had heard how wonderful they are for years and as food gets harder to eat I thought that it would be a wonderful way to be able to still eat fresh fruits and veggies.  Well, IT IS!  I LOVE it! One of my favorite things is the "Everything Smoothie".  The ingredients are: soy milk, red grapes, pineapple chunks, an orange, frozen peaches, carrots, broccoli, spinach, frozen strawberries, frozen banana and ice.  Blend until smooth!  It tastes DELICIOUS!

BEFORE:




AFTER: